It’s been a bit barren, creature-related, these last few weeks. There are a few still scurrying about, tending to webs and worrying about what type of decomposing insect to serve for Christmas lunch. But they’re all out favourites that have already been photographed and adored by the masses. I’m only really interested in fresh talent, and I’ve got a few things planned to stick up here, so hopefully semi-normal service will be resumed next year.

But for now, here’s a festive looking spider for you. Well, not the spider itself, but the red/green patterned thing it’s crawling about on. I’d not seen this type of spider before, or since, with it’s fat body placed directly in the centre of it’s equally proportioned legs. It looks a bit like a mechanical spider from a terrible film, but shrunk and made flesh. Perhaps if you look clodely there’s a tiny Kenneth Branagh or Kevin Kline perched atop it, twirling their moustache as they wrestle with the controls.

Scaryness: 4. It looks a bit odd, like a child’s drawing of a spider. But that’s not as scary as a real-life version of a child’s drawing of a man would be, nor as scary as a child’s drawn car would be to drive. The festive background helps to give a jolly feel to it as well. As it’s the season to be jolly, pull up a chair and have a slice of turkey, spidey. But leave the roast potatoes for me. They’re mine. Piss-taking bastard.