I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the weather’s been a bit warm recently. You know what that means? No, not that the earth is stuck in a downward spiral of rising sea temperatures which is leading to melting sea ice and unpredictable weather patterns causing both unprecedented amounts of devastating floods in some areas while others scorch to a brittle death. Well, maybe that as well, but no, I meant it must be time for SUMMER HOLIDAYS!

Every child knows what that means. Six weeks of no school. Six weeks of playing outside. Six weeks of doing all the things you wish you could do on a boring tuesday or thursday in wet, cold November. November sucks.

But today is July. Wonderful, beautiful, bright potential stretches out in front of us. Let’s run outside right now, right this second and go kick balls around, spin hoops, rattle fences with sticks and chase stray dogs through puddles. Or whatever children born after Victoria’s reign do nowadays for fun.

That was good wasn’t it? Exciting. Energetic. Hot. Too bloody hot. I’m knackered. No Mum, you can’t force me outside. I’m not going out today. My back tyre’s flat. My ball’s lost in a hedge. My friends all have Cholera. Nope. I’m staying in today. And tomorrow. And the rest of the week. And so are my 31 brothers and sisters.

Oh and by the way, we’re BOOOOOOOORED. Entertain us.


Annoying kids cluttering the place up: 2

Stressed Mum having these lot around all the time: 8